I didn't say it was your fault DON'T ANYHOW ASSUME CAN.
I'M SO BLOODY SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME. " I never knew you were like this. I treat you as a good friend. " ="=
A. Good friends do not do what they're good friends hate.
B. They do not bloody repeat the mistake on purpose.
C. They would never write such things unless you're freakin pissing them off.
D. Good friends do not annoy friends as much.

So let me tell you on behalf of the class. You ARE annoying, in class. Along with the rest. I didn't drag them in. The minute you guys walked out of the class, it was peaceful. You guys were the cause of the noise. Unless you want the blame all to yourself it's fine with me.
I REPEAT. I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT.

Stop bloody using that TREATMENT ON ME. I'M SICK OF IT. In case you can't read my face well enough. I'm. F'n. SICK. OF. IT.

It comes back one after another.
At least I'm not lying to myself anymore. I feeeeel very idontknowhowtoputitthethoughtofithurts.
Now that its said, the next question is what is going to happen?
HonestlyrightnowIfeellikegivingup. Imeanioftendoattimeswhenithinkreallydeep. Thatfeelingalwayscomesaroundadrenalinerushthatmakesmewanttorunsomewhereandbreathemakethemeyesandthroatandidonknowbutmybodyaswelldamnpainfullah. Likelikelikeyoufeellikepukingthekindofthing. AndiHATEpuking. Likeisaid:I'dratheryoubewiththatsomeoneelsenowthenwasteyourtimeonmeforanotherexperience. Causeiwouldntwanttobeone. Itsfeelslikeiminanexperimentforlikethisperiodoftimethatisgoingtofail. idonwantidonwantidontwant. I'dratherbesweptoffmyfeetonceandstaythereforeverratherthenbesweptandlaterbedroppedrealhardkindathing. IdrathertakethistimetospenditwithmyfmilyorfriendsorworkorbetterstillGOD. idonthinkyouseehowmuchtimeiputinyounotthatimaskingyoutoo,butitslikewheneveryouneedmeidtrytobetherenomatterhowfarkindathing. Butthethingisidonthinkicanthoughiwanttoendthis.itslikeallthetimealltheeffortitriedtokeepittogethercauseattheendofthedayithoughtitllbeallokay. Butiguessnot. Causeapartofmewantstoseehowthisendsoratleasthowfaritgoes. Ijustdon'twanttofeeltheafterprocessthatsall. Idonreallyknowwhatiwanttodonow. Alliknowisineedtobreathealittlemaybealot.

SIGH. Where's my five loaves and two fishes going to? I didn't have service today or yesterday. All i had was class. The last class :'( And i had to leave early. UGHH annoying. It was really meaningful. I love sister hualing's class! :( As in it really got me thinking about what i should do with my life kinda thing.

Thank God i wore a cap today.
Thank God the adrenaline rush i was having was making me not hungry.
Thank God my parents went for lunch without me.
Thank God nobody was home when i needed to be alone.
Thank God, i think my eyes looked better by the time they came back so i need not use the accuse soap got into my eyes which was obviously a lie cause i look like... the ghost in whatever movie.
Yeah, thank God.

Helmet head came to rescue me from the powerpoint! Hah! Thank you babeee. I should have played more of the iTouch. Had great time crapping with na-dine:D made the gloomy and painful day seen less gloomy and painful. LOL.

Then went to aunts hour o end. Now that my Godma is staying the the room looks nicer:)
Then pms the way home. Stupid fat face-.- then Mom thought i was pissed at david.. Not whatever.

I still feel messed up. I want to be rational but.. Once i start at it.. It'll feel like i'm back at square one. :\

Hope baby's ankle is okay:\ I will pray for you:( hope you're coping well.